Dirt Cheap Birmingham

We explore the butt end of Birmingham. Venture at your peril pavements of puke, brave graveyards of Goths or loiter about libraries of concrete. Here we collide with what should be censored in the city and its centre.

1. Broad Street on a Saturday
Here you’ll find a breed of species pretty common in UK cities. The female will be decked out in cleavage exposing baby doll dresses in the dead of winter and the male’s head will be covered in gel. Funnily enough it has got better – it used to be covered in human puke and piss post 10pm on a Saturday night.

2. St Phillips Cathedral on a weekend
Littered by infinite numbers of Emos dressed in stripy tights and black lipstick. While the picturesque cathedral has plenty of benches to park your derrière on, you’ll be pushed to find breathing space among this spotty bunch of yoots.

3. Birmingham Central Library
Not even the world’s greatest literature can take the “Urrrgh!” outta this urrrghly 70s block of concrete, masquerading as a public library. One of the reasons Birmingham city dwellers as well as outsiders voted Brum one of the ugliest cities in the UK.

4. Pallasades Shopping Centre
Unfortunately located above New Street Station this Chavtastic shopping centre houses tit for tat shops but mostly just tat. You’ll find everything here that you would do in an ordinary town centre and as such it does nothing for the city itself.

5. Cadbury’s World
Unless you’ve got kids, or are yourself incredibly childish, it’s really an attraction you can miss. Even breathing in the chocolate scented air surrounding the attraction could gain 10lbs to your waistline.

Visiting European cities on a tight budget? Check out our other dirt cheap guides!

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